I bought my son a dollhouse

What better way to get back into my writing then starting with a subject the evokes shock, awe, judgement and disbelief right?!

Did y’all miss me? It is my hearts hope that you all had a beautiful holiday season with your loved ones. It is my hope that space was made for the people in your life who are neurodiverse and/or disabled to be themselves and enjoy all that matters in this season…love and family.

Caleb had really gotten into the Christmas spirit these last 2 years but this year he was over the too excited and barely slept the night before waiting to see if all of his list had been fulfilled.

Where is the boy he wouldn’t allow us to have a Christmas tree because he said trees belong outside?! Not anymore!

Where’s the boy who only wanted 1 thing for Christmas? Ummm a whole list was sent to Santa this year (aka a custom Amazon registry).

It’s unbelievable but it has been such a joy to watch. I now understand why parents continue to lie to their kids every year about Santa. I’m not doing the elf thing but I get it now! Also I blame YouTube with these damn toy reviews and commercials. I had to have Mr.Men and Little Miss toys sent from Canada from various collectors because he’s decided he needs to collect all 90 of them. F—- You very much YouTube! Lol

Listen! Santa Mama didn’t have it but he’s up to 25 and I’m hoping they continue to be sought after so we can get the money back one day.

Anyway, Caleb’s list also included Transformers G1 nettle figurines “all 18 of them”, Paw Patrol big truck pups “every character”, Mr. Men and Little Miss books set, Hess transporter trucks with Hot rods, and a Gabby’s dollhouse!

Say what now?!

Oh Gabby’s dollhouse made the list again. This is year 2 which means he’s committed to this for some reason. I admit I thought this request might go away but wasn’t sure so I held off. Caleb watches this show on Netflix and he really likes Gabby and her friends (animal characters)..DJ Katnip in particular is his favorite. He’s a DJ, he plays music and Caleb loves him. In fact last year I bought him a DJ Katnip toy with a pair of turntables and I thought that would satisfy his request.

However in true Rose Parks fashion Caleb said, “Nah.”

It’s gift request time once again and here comes Gabby’s dollhouse on the list and once again here was Gemma saying “absolutely not!” LOL

Now, we let Gemma get a say but the final law and order comes from mama so as I do with everything else I started in on some research.

“What the hell is it about this dollhouse that Caleb really wants?” I knew it wasn’t the “dolls” he doesn’t like dolls and has never showed any interest in them. In fact I think that’s part of his attraction to this one, the little figures are mostly animals with the exception of Gabby. The house is basically a creatives dream house though, it has the essentials (bathroom, bedroom, kitchen) but then it has a craft room, play room and what I found to be the the real appeal to it all…The music room! Well damn, now I want to live in Gabby’s dolls house! The damn thing plays music courtesy of DJ Katnip of course.

“Ok this makes more sense.”

The price was decent.

Target had it.

Easy enough. Bought!

Now I just have to tell Gemma and his dad that I’m buying him a dollhouse. And it was that thought that actually gave me reflective pause. Why do I have to justify getting Caleb a dollhouse? The answer is simple. Because he wants it. Just like everything else we buy his little spoiled ass. He wants it and it’s Christmas!

That’s it! Period!

However, there was still pause, even within myself and I need to dissect it and get rid of it. Why can’t boys play with houses? Toys, especially at this age, are about imagination, creativity, pretend play and dreaming. Why shouldn’t little boys dream of fancy houses with music rooms? I mean isn’t that how artists and producers live. Why aren’t their more male dolls and figures? We know representation matters. Girls/women don’t live in this world alone. Isn’t it more realistic that he could one day own his own home than it is that he would become a transforming robot who fights aliens to save the world?? And yet, that’s what boys are “supposed” to play with.

His love for transformers has him attempting to jump off furniture and mimicking violence and death and yet I’m more concerned with him playing with a little girl and her cat friends?!

Whoa Tiffany!! This doesn’t make sense at all.

This was the conversation I had with myself and eventually his dad and Gemma. Actually it was more like,

“Don’t freak out but I’m getting Caleb a dollhouse!”

I was ready to go into the same rant I’d had with myself though but it wasn’t necessary. There was no freaking out. I don’t know if it’s because of the year we’ve had and the fact that they just wanted him to be happy but no freak outs were had and I was grateful.

As I watched Caleb open his dollhouse on Christmas morning, I waited to see what his reaction would be. At first he told me to take it back.

LOL, yep because kids are ungrateful and they suck. Autism doesn’t prevent that from being true.

Once he opened everything else and he finally said. “Take it out the box” as he side eyed the poor box like it had eaten his last McDonald’s chicken nugget.

For whatever reason he didn’t like the box and the excitement came as I put the house together. We were both disappointed that there wasn’t a DJ Katnip figure included but Amazon fixed that. Otherwise, he was content, not overly excited but content. Funny enough he quickly tossed poor little Gabby to the side and loaded up his transformers G1 figures and hot rod cars into the house.

Whatever works son! This is your world. Your imagination, Your pretend play. Do you boo!

And that’s what he’s been doing, I’m happy I bought my son a dollhouse. I’m happy the pause didn’t stop me from making a decision that I really couldn’t justify. If you’re a parent reading this and are worried about what others will say, societal norms, or even your inner voice yelling at you from a place of insecurity and trauma, tell them all to suck it! Because is not a reasonable answer to the question Why?

Make room for your child’s happiness, hell make room for your own happiness.

Let that lead you into 2023. Happy New Year folks.

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