“Don’t sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much there’s nothing else you can give and nobody will care for you.” ~ Karl Lagerfeld
We’re back!! Did you miss us?? I apologize for the delay in writing as it was unexpected but I do not apologize for the reason. In short, mama needed a break!! February is my birth month and birthdays for me BC( Before Caleb) were month long celebrations but now it takes a lot more effort to set aside some me time.
In my mind I said other than mommying and work I was going to just take it easy for a few days, but after a few days my body and mind were like “don’t make us go back!!” so I decided to continue to do the bare minimum a little longer.
During this time I did have time to reflect on a few things, make a few decisions and of course life with Caleb has continued with some progress and updates (more to come). There were a few times I picked up my phone to write but couldn’t find the words. I realized that I had come to a point in my blog where I had caught you all up and would be writing in the present. Surprisingly that was both hard and scary…..hard because I couldn’t process and write at the same time. Scary because I wasn’t sure if I could share the raw and unfiltered story without sounding like a hot mess! LOL..I was also exhausted.
Exhausted because well motherhood is exhausting…Period! But also as life progresses there are so many people who I have to keep up to speed and by the end of the day I didn’t want to tell the stories and give updates anymore.
I did continue to write in my notebook though, just one word here and there sometimes. Other times an appointment date and a word to describe my emotions so when I went back it would jog the memory. Other days I write down a phrase or a quote based on something else. Long story short I often thought about the people who read my blogs and social media followers, I thought about the inbox messages I’d received over the past few months and I knew I needed to start writing again.
I also needed to start for myself. We were on information overload again like when are journey first began. I realized then that I needed to write as a release. I remembered how much my blog had helped me to cope with my emotions and the process. I remembered that before the followers and the messages I had started writing for me.
It was time to get back…I’d need this release more than ever very very soon. What I didn’t know (or maybe I did) was that I had needed to take time off to recharge for what was to come as well.