Now What

“Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.” -John Lennon

To know me is to know that I never ask now what?? I’m a planner. If I don’t like something I plan and make a change. Period. Very rarely do I ask anyone’s opinion because if it’s a good decision it would be mine and if it ended up fucked up then I could blame no one but myself. That was just how I did things.

 This would be different. I was headed home to tell my mom what had just happened and I’d need to discuss this with Caleb’s dad too. Despite being in another state we were committed to co-parenting and that was not going to change now.

I got home and told my mom first my face was still tear-stained so I had to. I had left Caleb at daycare because he was sleeping when I left and we decided not to disturb him. So far he’d been having a good day so I just told them I’d get him at normal time. I need to get back home and get back to work and I needed time to process also. Moms response was similar to mine but she didn’t cry she just kinda cried out with tears in her eyes and I said “I don’t want him to have anything!” I remember the words because I was a little surprised. I thought she’d be comforting me but I instantly felt like I’d be the one comforting her. Grandmothers have a super sensitive and special bond, I had it with my grandma and Caleb and Gemma had a bond like no other. I was happy she hadn’t gone to the meeting with me. I’m not sure if she could’ve handled it.

Something about moms outburst snapped me into planning mode. I was not only in planning mode I was in planning mama bear mode…I might as well have had on a cape because a mama with a plan to do what’s necessary for her baby is a different kind of super power and just like that I was on a mission. Within minutes I had an appointment with Caleb’s pediatrician within the next 48 hours. His doctor wasn’t available so I asked to see another pediatrician in the practice ASAP!

I’d also spend the rest of the evening researching SPD…Sensory Processing Disorder. There was so much information. A checklist to see if your child had symptoms. Tools to help your child cope. My head was spinning and I had no true diagnosis. I took a step back, took note of a few things they said helped children who had SPD and decided to wait until we saw a professional. In the meantime we’d be cutting back drastically on electronics, I went online and ordered some puzzles and non electronic activities. Some puzzles, more markers, crayons and art supplies. I also purchased a timer, like a stop watch thingy. In the conversation with the administrator she mentioned that Caleb had trouble transitioning in school between activities. She mentioned that a timer helped her and Jackson because it sounded an actual alarm when it was time to switch tasks. She recommended we get one for school and home and if we were all consistent this may help Caleb be better prepared for transitions.

For example, Caleb in 2 minutes it’s bath time….set alarm for 2 min and then he starts to associate the alarm to a new task.

Ok sure, we can try this. If it would help with tantrums I’ll try anything!!

Caleb had a good day that afternoon in daycare and at home. The next morning armed with a scheduled doctors appointment, a timer and a plan Caleb went back to daycare. That day wasn’t as good, neither was the next or the one after that.

We had gone to the pediatrician who agreed due to the behavioral issues and the poor eating habits it was time to see a speech therapist. I had an appointment with her just 2 days later. Things were moving quickly and despite still signing incident reports I felt like we were on to start working through these issues and things would be getting better, the pediatrician had even said by 3 months we should see some progress.

Unfortunately things would get a little worse before they got better. The day after we saw the pediatrician I got a call from daycare an hour and half after dropping Caleb off. He had bitten two friends in that time had spent most of the morning in the office. I had enough, by the tone of the voice on the other end of the phone they had also had enough. I told her mom was on her way to get him….before Mom left I told her to collect all of his things and to let them know Caleb was taking a break.

They agreed….We all needed a break.

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