It’s always darkest before the dawn

That saying is scientifically false by the way but the idea that things always seem to get worse before they get better is true.

Due to things beyond our control, a head cold and a hurricane, Caleb’s first two weeks of daycare were a little inconsistent with 2 days here and 3 days there but once we got going things seemed to be great!We both got a little emotional on the first days but soon he was jumping out the car and running inside with no tears.

**We had also seen his new pediatrician and at the mention of him possibly needing speech therapy she said “let’s evaluate at his 2 1/2 check up in December” she said that with the introduction of School and taking away his pacifier his words would come soon enough. When we left that appointment we didn’t expect to be back before December.** 

As the weeks went by Caleb seemed to enjoy going to daycare but I wasn’t too sure they were as happy to see him coming. Our sweet Caleb had started biting….again! Once or twice a week quickly became daily signatures on incident reports and it seemed as the those dreadful terrible twos were in full swing.

After the 5th and 6th incident Mom and I became seriously concerned. They couldn’t identify what was aggravating him and causing this behavior and by the time he got home he was perfectly fine. It didn’t help that Caleb couldn’t communicate to tell us why he was biting his friends. At first we thought it was the pacifier so we took that away from him instantly. No more weaning just cold turkey…he was fine without it at home but still agitated at school. The Director then recommended we bring a toy from home, something that was familiar and just his, something he wouldn’t have to share as they noticed he didn’t want to share with his friends. That didn’t seem to help either.

Everyday we would speak to his teacher and try to come up with a plan, most days it didn’t work and she was as confused as we were. Some days were better than others and some days he seemed like nothing could please him. He’d fuss to go outside then fuss to come inside. He didn’t want friends sitting next to him, other days he was “handsy (touching, pushing, pinching, not keeping his hands to himself)what was going on with my baby? Of course I’m a mama bear so I’d be lying if I also wasn’t thinking, what were they doing to my baby? But I knew in my heart something just wasn’t right….and my baby couldn’t help me to determine what that was. 

By week 4 we all seemed to be filled with anxiety. Everyday we’d wait to see if we had to sign the dreaded incident report. I was concerned for Caleb and I was concerned for the babies he had been biting…I knew what those vampire teeth felt like. I was continuously apologizing to the providers for his behavior and reassuring them that we were doing everything possible at home to get him to stop and to understand that biting wasn’t nice. They were polite and tried to reassure me. “Caleb will be just fine.” they would say.

When we got to week 5 I was exhausted…mentally and emotionally. Having these one-sided conversations with Caleb on why he shouldn’t bite seemed pointless but I needed to do something. As his mother it is my responsibility. I couldn’t determine if he understood what we telling him or what he was doing. I had moved up his bedtime to ensure he was getting enough rest. At one point his agitation seemed to increase around nap time  so we were all concerned that maybe he was just overly tired. From birth Caleb had been a restless sleeper and that had not changed, his past pediatrician had implied that it was due to co-sleeping but I didn’t believe that based on research. I knew there was more to it.

We had also cutback on our beloved iPad. It was definitely the hardest transition but we bought some new toys and introduced a few old ones that he hadn’t played with in some time. Again everything seemed to be good at home but without fail…there continued to be incident reports to sign.

Was this the terrible twos?? Was this a boy thing? OMG was my baby destined to be a bully? I was sick with questions, concerns and at a loss for how to make this better. Once again I felt helpless….I thought daycare would be great for all of us.

I was no longer so sure.

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